i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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