The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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