Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
