I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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