If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
