Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
