It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
