My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
