i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
