Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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