people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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