I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
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all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
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I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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