i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Less talking, more tequila
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
