and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
