no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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