I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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