I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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