..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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