I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize