I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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