who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
