There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
