Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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