don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Randomize
