tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
