she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
