i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
