How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize