I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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