Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
