Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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