"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
