Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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