Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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