We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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