do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
