roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i barfeds in our rink
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
