I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
