my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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