so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
