How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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