i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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