You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize