I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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