A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize