Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
