Already got asked if we're dating
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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