I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
