the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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