Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
