"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
