Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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