i barfeds in our rink
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
