How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
