At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
