Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
