Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
