I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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