honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Pooping to opera.
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