she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
