You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
