New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize