Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
