I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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