Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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