hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I need a burrito and a hug.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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