Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
